Five Things to Avoid for Better Mental Health

In my daily practice, I deal with all sorts of disorders and conditions. But the one I typically deal with the most is general anxiety. Think of this as underlying stress. I always tell people, anxiety is a signal that something is a little bit off or wrong, and it is your brain's way of processing it and making decisions. This is why, believe it or not, anxiety can be GOOD FOR YOU.

Over the years, there are five main practices that I advise people to take on if they want almost immediate improvement with their mental health. These are all things that are ultimately under your control, so they are fairly easy to implement. So here's a non-prioritized list of things that you should AVOID if you want better mental health.

1)      Bad Sleeping Habits

There’s nothing more restorative to your body than sleep. It’s something we need in order to keep our systems running properly and able to maintain good health in many ways, and that includes your mental health. Sleep deprivation is often used as torture, and that should tell you a lot about how much it can affect your mental health.

Your brain requires rest in order to process things that have happened to it throughout the day and in the past. Imagine that it’s like a computer that does a lot of work AFTER it’s powered down. This is because without outside stimulus, it can begin to do work on the other things running in the background.

But there’s some caveats to that. Having good sleep isn’t just about being in a bed passed out. It’s also about the things you do in order to prepare for sleep, which also often fall under the headings of other things I’ll mention in this article. Preparing for a good night in bed is also important, so doing things like turning off screens before bed and relaxing yourself with some stretching can be highly beneficial. Funnily enough, these are also good habits overall, not just for sleeping.

Even what we eat can affect sleep. If you binge eat before bed and drink alcohol, the sleep you’re getting means your body is busy repairing and dealing with that, not helping your brain. The result is, it will affect your mental health the next day as well. Ever notice you’re more anxious the day after you have a few drinks and pass out? There’s a reason for that.

Things like shift work make it so that sleep isn’t consistent and often erratic, so that also falls under the heading of inconsistencies we have already discussed. Your body likes something called homeostasis, which is balance – and without good sleep you’re constantly in a state of sympathetic stimulation.

So the first thing I tell people who are experiencing anxiety and other issues with mental health is get their sleeping habits in line. It’s a simple thing to adjust and can do wonders.

2)      People You Don’t Like

And before I have people start to complain about family members, I’ll scream it to the rooftops: THIS INCLUDES FAMILY MEMBERS.

Coworkers, bosses, family members, even people you have to interact with at your volunteer work or interacting with randomly on the street. Think about what encounters with those people cause. Rumination, thoughts that we are inadequate, guilt and shame. All things that absolutely affect your mental health.

My advice to people is usually just to avoid these people if you possibly can. And sometimes, that means a hard decision about boundaries and what you’re willing to do in order to improve your mental health because you’re in a place like a toxic work environment (there’s a reason they call it that). Does that mean you need to consider a new job? Sometimes, yes. What’s your mental health and happiness worth?

I have people weekly in my office that ask me how they can avoid narcissists or family members that cause them stress. My advice is almost always: just don’t see them. If the person is your spouse or your child, sometimes that’s a different situation, and there are ways to manage that so you can at least diminish or avoid the hold that their bad behaviors have over your own mental health.

If you are predisposed to things like guilt and shame, often interactions with even random people will cause you to question what you did or how they interacted with you. For these situations, I suggest asking yourself a couple of simple questions. The first is, did I do anything to warrant that behavior? And the second is, would that person have reacted the same way to anybody, not just me. The answers to these are usually no for the first, and yes for the second. So it wasn’t you – it was them. Take those emotions and let them fade away.

Remember, our relationships and community are one of the most vital things for good mental health. So really think about the relationships you have and how you might be able to change them in order to help yourself.

3)      Isolation

As I’ve mentioned, having a sense of community and belonging is vital for good mental health. Another aspect of this is socialization. Humans are social creatures by nature, and with today’s society it is far too easy to dive into things like social media and video games, which don’t give anything close to the same mental stimulation as interacting with another human being.

One of the reasons COVID was so debilitating to a lot of people is exactly this: it created more isolation. Video chats aren’t the same as sitting across from someone and seeing their face in person. Same with dating, spending time with family and even just saying hello to your barista at the coffee shop. Walking into Starbucks and picking up a drink is different than having to even say ten words to the person taking your order.

If you struggle with isolation, there are a couple of simple modifications you can make. The first is, changing your habits around interacting with others. This could mean finding an activity you enjoy – yes even gaming – and going somewhere else to do it where you interact with other people live. Sports, arts and crafts, or maybe something you’ve always wanted to try can all be done with others that are in the same boat as you are. People who want to meet new people and have groups created in order to do so.

Often, you will find that there are people in the same situation as you are. It is difficult to make new friends as an adult, and so this means there are a lot of people looking for exactly what you're looking for! New connections can bring about a lot of benefits in new social activities, people you can rely on to help you if you need it, and it's something that we as human beings aree meant to do. You'll feel a lot better just having a bunch of new people to talk to every week.

4)      Inconsistency

Humans are also routine based creatures. For those of us with ADHD or any other type of condition, we know exactly how disruptive something changing suddenly can be. I always encourage clients to have a routine that is predictable and they can plan for, WHILE also preparing ahead for things that might happen. However, the maybes and the “what-ifs” shouldn’t dominate your thoughts.

The trouble we fall into is not knowing what is going to happen day to day or week to week, either because of disruptive elements in our lives or things like toxic relationships or work environments. Generally, these are things you can control, even if you have, for example, a job that has peaks and valleys. Expecting things to adjust from month to month is vital for people in places like self-employment or sales environments.

If you never know what might happen, your nervous system is constantly on guard and has to be wary of unexpected things, and therefore you never have a chance to just relax and live your life.

For those of you with children, hopefully you know that having a predictable routine and consistency really helps them – and this works for adults as well. So focus on the things you can absolutely control. When you wake up and go to bed, when and how you eat, when you take breaks throughout the day. Again, sometimes this will be thrown off, but if you focus on maintaining consistency the majority of the time, it will pay off in lower stress levels over time.

5)      Overstimulation

When we receive too much input, our mind has to filter what is a priority and what isn’t. Typically it will default to making sure that we are safe and secure and protect us in the event of some type of threat. This is essentially the entire function of your sympathetic nervous system.

So if you have a day with too much stress at work – plus something happens to one of your kids – plus you spill your coffee – plus your plans change last minute, it can become too much for you to handle.

This is exactly why screen addiction has become so much of a problem, especially with young people. Overstimulation and expectations of more and more leads to the brain wanting more and more and then regularly getting overloaded. This will inevitably lead to a reaction like anxiety, frustration, sadness or another type of negative behavior.

Often with clients I’ll have them define their levels of anxiety or reaction on a scale of 1 to 10, and the idea is to recognize triggers and make sure that they don’t let bad practices build up to the point where things like panic or other bad conditions are needed to kick in in order to stop the behavior.

There are four F words when it comes to overstimulation: fight, flight, freeze and fawn. So your response when things get too much could be any one of these things, based on the scenario presented. Too much to do at work? You might shut down and feel the need to scroll on your phone or check out. Stressed about your relationship? You might overcompensate with acts of service or try more physical touch that may or may not be wanted.

The solution is to recognize triggers and either avoid them or modify things so that they don’t all fall on you at once. This means things like asking for help if you need it. Sometimes it could mean letting go of an activity or being able to say no, which many people pleasers struggle with. Managing your life so that you don’t get overwhelmed is key, so this requires forethought and setting boundaries and expectations.

If you can address all these areas of your daily life, which are all under your control, it’s possible to significantly improve your mental health in a short period of time. As I always preach to clients, your best friend is consistency. Giving your body and your mind the ability to process and deal with the things that might be causing you stress will free up the ability to improve in other areas. And by taking control, you have ownership over your own life.

Please let me know if you need any help with these areas, or any other stressful events that might be happening. My door is always open to help. Also, if you know of anyone who might benefit from this article, please share it with them! You can reach me anytime on my website at www.ottawamenscounseling.com or via email at ottawamenscounseling@gmail.com